his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
