come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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