So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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