Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
