so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
