i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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