i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize