Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize