Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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