I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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