What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
