Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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