i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
