You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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