if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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