Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
