Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
