dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
