my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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