I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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