Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
