And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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