i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
