We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
