No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
