U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Where is the hickey?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Help. Why am I so naked?
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