Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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