coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
