Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
