he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
