TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
