i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
