my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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