I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize