Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
