What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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