Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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