Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Farmville is her only friend.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
