For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
