i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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