remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
