are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize