omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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