I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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