so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
where are my eyebrows?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
