Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
