we're blogging at a bar
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
