There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
honey bunches of taint.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
