new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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