she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize