And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
