they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
