Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
