What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
