You're my little dorito
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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