Screwed.edu
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
