i already hear my dad disowning me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
