those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
now i know why i became what i already was.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
