i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
