official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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