I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
