Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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