I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
